Haruka and Mamoru's Night on the Town
by Iggy Enigma
Summary: After being thrown out by their respective girlfriends, Haruka drags Mamoru out to Osaka to see the night life. However, her new "wingman" is less than enthusiastic. Can Haruka get him to lighten up and enjoy himself? And what's this about a booze demon!
1. Mamoru Kicked Out

Haruka and Mamoru's Night on the Town

It was a warm and beautiful Saturday night in Japan, the kind that you just couldn't stay inside for. The lights of the Juuban District had a joyful neon glow, happy couples walked arm in arm, shoppers rushed home for dinner, and crowds of teenagers wandered the streets in joyful glee, stopping by the arcade or restaurants. However, one Mamoru Chiba, wealthy and handsome young college student living on his own in the city, was perfectly comfortable listening to Bach on his CD player while reading a recent bestseller describing the latest advancements in the field of genetics. It wasn't that Mamoru was a shut-in who studied twenty-four hours a day; he had a genuine interest in his line of study, and preferred quiet evenings at home. While his friends had frequently tried to drag him out to drink and dance and generally act like a complete fool, he had always resisted in favor of more intellectual pursuits. Dressed what he considered casually in a pressed green button-down tucked into his form-fitting black slacks, Mamoru could have made quite a statement on the town with his near-male model looks. However, he was happy to be alone tonight. _It's so peaceful and quiet,_ he thought. _It sure is nice to have an evening without Usagi around. I mean, I love her to death, but she doesn't understand things like peace. Or quiet. Or __**alone.**_ He sighed and slumped further down on his couch. _Feels like she's over almost every night, but now? It's just old Mamoru and his genetics texts. No choking down terrible food, no spending loads of money, no babbling about what her friends are doing, and best of all, __**no complaining about Chibiusa!**_

Just then, there was a knock on the door. Mamoru started and jumped up from the couch, dropping his book on the floor. _Oh no. Oh please no. Not tonight. Not the one night I've had to myself all week._ He got up and walked to the door. Opening it, he was greeting by a petite blonde high school girl with murder on her face and steam coming out of her odangos. _Here we go…_

"MAM-O-CHAAAN!!" squawked Usagi, her lower lip thrust out in a way that was anything but adorable. "Uh, yes, Usako?" he asked warily. "Don't you Usako me!" she snapped, kicking off her shoes violently enough to scuff the pristine white wall before storming in and landing on his couch hard enough to make the springs squeal in pain. Mamoru winced at the damage done to his apartment. _What did I do __**now**__?_ he moaned inwardly. "Is there anything wrong?" he asked outwardly, coming over to sit beside her.

"WRONG?!" she blared, causing him to jump up from his half-seated position. "I heard an interesting story from Chibiusa today," she continued accusingly, chewing her future daughter's name the way Mamoru often chewed her cooking. "Oh… really?" asked Mamoru wearily. "She says you took her out… TO THAT NEW ICE CREAM PLACE I WANTED TO GO TO!!" she wailed, proceeding to sob like an angry toddler. Mamoru's eyes widened in alarm as he realized his fatal mistake. _Oh crap. _

"But… Usako honey, she was having a bad day and I wanted her to feel better!"

"Doesn't! Matter!" she snapped, helping herself to a box of tissues and a dish of candies on his coffee table, popping them in five at a time furiously.

"She failed a test!"

"Doesn't matter!"

"The teacher told the whole class!"

"Doesn't matter!"

"She tripped and fell on her lunch tray and everyone laughed at her!"

"Doesn't matter!"

"Her friends found out about that boy she likes and started chanting the K-I-S-S-I-N-G song in front of him! The K-I-S-S-I-N-G song, Usagi! That's the ultimate mortification for a girl her age!"

"I don't CARE if she was morty-fik-ated in front of her friends or whatever!! THIS IS ICE CREAM, DAMMIT!!! AND YOU! DIDN'T! TAKE! MEEE!!!"

Mamoru staggered backwards, recoiling from his outraged girlfriend, whose face now resembled a very wet, very angry tomato. "GET OUT!" she shrieked.

"Wait, what?" Mamoru stammered. "I live here! This is my-"

"GET! OUUUUUT!!!

Mamoru suddenly found himself being shoved out the door by a girl a foot shorter and 100 pounds lighter than him. By the time he turned around to address this absurdity, the door had been slammed in his face. With his keys still on top of his dresser.

*CLICK* went the lock in the door. _Aw dammit,_ he thought. He turned around, looked up at the stars, and sighed. _At least it's a nice night…_


	2. Haruka Gets The Boot

Haruka and Mamoru's Night on the Town

"Ahhhh!" Haruka Tenou sighed contentedly as she strolled into the apartment she shared with Michiru, Setsuna, and Hotaru. She had just come back from a very successful F-1 race, and was wearing an appropriately relaxed outfit: a dark blue collared shirt over her lean-muscled (but tightly bound) torso, blue jeans worn to the point of looking fashionable, and holding her light tan jacket slung over her shoulder with a hooked finger. "The conquering hero returns!" she announced as she walked in. "And her beautiful girlfriend is…"

Michiru stood before her, arms folded and foot tapping, with anything but a positive expression. "…apparently _not_ happy to see her," Haruka finished, her cheery expression falling from her face. "You're late," the exquisitely lovely artist sniffed, wearing a positively regal look of fury that made Haruka wonder if she was about to be sent to a dungeon somewhere. "Uh, actually, you left early," Haruka corrected her, looking somewhat puzzled. "I was wondering where you and Setsuna went."

"Oh really?" Michiru countered icily. "I'm surprised you remembered we were there, considering…"

"Hi Haruka!!" Setsuna suddenly popped around the corner leading to the hallway. "Congratulations on your… oh." Just then she noticed Michiru glaring at her over her shoulder. Haruka shot her dark-skinned friend a frantic look that said _Save yourself!_ The Guardian of Time retreated back around the corner. She knew what _that_ expression meant.

After a brief, awkward pause, Haruka ventured, "So… what're you mad abou-"

"I'm MAD about your hanging all over that slut of a race queen!!" Michiru snarled. "Whoa, hey, take it easy," Haruka said, hands in front of her for defense. "You know we have to do promo shots and stuff…"

"Well she certainly was enjoying herself," Michiru snipped, glaring straight at her. _Ooh, this is not good, _Haruka thought. _This is definitely not the playful, fun kind of mad-at-me. This is the __**very bad**__ mad-at-me._ "Look, don't you think you're being a little unreasonable here?..."

"You don't even remember, do you?" Michiru went on, getting very icy again. "You had your arm around her… and she was hanging on your fingers… you were playing with her hair, for Cosmos's sake! She had green hair too… damn you and your thing for green-haired girls…"

"Really?" came a voice from around the corner.

"SETSUNA!!!!" Michiru shrieked. "ARE YOU LISTENING BACK THERE?!"

"Whoops, sorry," came the voice again. "I'll just go now…"

Michiru and Haruka stood uncomfortably as they listened to the hurried footsteps go off down the hall. "So…" Haruka started again, "you're mad because I fingered her hair a little…"

"It's not just that!" Michiru snapped, exasperated and furious all at once. She stared at the blank Haruka for a minute. "First, you were playing with her hair…"

"Like I was trying to say, not a big deal…" Haruka countered.

"Then you were whispering something in her ear…"

"I just told her she did a great job," Haruka continued uncomfortably.

"AND THEN YOU KISSED HER, YOU PHILANDERING, FLIRTATIOUS FLOOZY!!"

Haruka stared at her in disbelief. Then she thought for a minute. Then the dawning of horrified recollection came upon her. _Oh crap._

She attempted to explain lamely even as her face flushed. "Well, ah, darling… it was the heat of the moment, you know? The glory of victory? Eh heh…"

"I cannot believe you," Michiru answered, her voice a deadly whisper. "So help me, I am going to…"

"Momma Setsuna! What're you doing in the hallway?" came Hotaru's voice from around the corner.

"GOD _DAMMIT_ SETSUNA!!!" shrieked Michiru again.

Haruka heard a muffled curse, and then hurried footsteps, as Setsuna's voice drifted around the corner again. "Uh, come along, Hotaru, let's practice your violin."

"But Momma Michiru helps me with that!" Hotaru replied.

"Uh, Momma Michiru's having a… _discussion_ right now," Setsuna's voice came hurriedly.

"No she's not!" Hotaru piped. "She's in there screaming like a…" The door mercifully closed.

Michiru very slowly turned back around to face Haruka. There was a vein throbbing in her forehead that looked like it would lash out at the hapless racing champion at any minute. "Out," she hissed through clenched teeth.

"But, Michiru, I…"

"OUT!" Michiru shrilled, advancing on Haruka with death dancing in her eyes.

Haruka was halfway down the street before she knew how she got there.

After going back to retrieve her car (thank goodness she hadn't set her keys down before Michiru threw her out), she was soon driving down the streets of the Minato-ku ward with the top down. _Nothing like a night drive, at least,_ she thought. _I bet Shiba-Koen Park is lovely this time of the evening…_


End file.
